15 Years Since Ani DiFranco Nearly Got Me Killed

It's been about 15 years since Ani DiFranco nearly got me killed by a pack of wild, rabid lesbians. I realized this a couple days ago as I purchased a copy of Curve, the lesbian magazine, for the first time in five years or so. As I flipped through the magazine, I once again felt more of an outsider than an insider.

Just like Ani, probably. The truth is that music fans have more contact with other music fans than with the musicians themselves. So when publicity or politics go south, music fans base judgment upon what fans are doing, not what the musicians are doing.... Many of her fans abandoned her for marrying a man, and I abandoned the whole scene altogether already because Ani almost got me dang near killed because she was trying to look punk in her fans' eyes, causing them to mistake me for "the enemy." Fuck those fans. Really. Fickle as the wind.

One day I'll write a book. Since music is one of my main loves, I will be sure to explain how Ani almost got me killed.

Anyway, I forgive Ani, 15 years later... and to make nice, I'll buy Ani DiFranco concert tickets. Thinking she's just waiting for me, I went onto her site, but she's not coming towards DC anytime soon. To my surprise, she's playing college auditoriums again, just like when I had the displeasure of not meeting her at my college despite booking her. I mean, we met in the elevator when I was lugging her gear. I was alone in an elevator with Ani, yes.

I will write a book someday. You know I can tell stories. And facts are all about how they are related...

A year into parrot ownership...

A year into parrot ownership, and goddamn, this sun conure, Roxy, has transformed our lives. We purchased Roxy from Petco in Waldorf, MD, in late April of 2009. I happened upon there, not because I was in the market for a parrot necessarily, but because I was feeling sick that day and I needed a pick-me-up. Crazy little birds to improve my mood. This was the first time I realized that and took advantage, at a pet store.

While I was in there, this sun conure, Roxy, really took a liking to me, and me to her. MFM and I had actually kicked around the idea of getting a parakeet once we moved into our house... but then this true-on parrot grabbed my heartstrings. A parrot is a bigger commitment than a parakeet. Not only does it expect to be an integral part of your life, but a sun conure, like Roxy, lives for 20+ years. To MFM, who hadn't had a pet besides a rabbit (due to allergies) since childhood, this was unheard of territory in our relationship and in her life in general. A huge commitment...

After meeting Roxy, I found myself leaving the house early just to sneak some time looking at her on my way to work. MFM couldn't help but notice the change in me. When I saw Roxy at Petco, she'd get all excited and regurgitate, which is a sign of sexual affection among birds. Clearly she liked me, too. After a couple weeks of planning and organizing, MFM and I purchased her and brought her home. We were sure to bring her home at a time where we could spend a few solid days getting her acquainted. (Bonus: my allergies at the time made me so sick I ended up missing three days of work afterwards, which gave me more time to welcome Miss Roxy into our home.)

Having a sun conure is like having a puppy, or a two-year-old... for 20 - 35 years. I am ready for that commitment. We bought the right-sized cage, and Roxy has become the little baby of our household ever since. If it weren't for Roxy, getting out of bed in the morning wouldn't be nearly as fun. There's nothing like the unconditional love of a pet in the morning... someone who's so excited to see you, bags under your eyes and all.

Conures, like all birds, are extremely fragile. When they get sick, it's not like a 100+ lb. dog getting ill... this is a very small animal weighed in grams, whose medicine is measured in milliliters. Roxy got sick in February (with a cold which turns bad fast with these small animals), and we came so close to losing her that we mourned her loss... (and were relieved to find her alive and kicking at Eastern Exotics Animal Hospital the next morning. The vets and their assistants seemed just as pleased and surprised that Roxy had made a turnaround towards the living.) I cannot explain the scar that this episode cut across my heart, and I know MFM hasn't experienced anything like it before. The good news is that Roxy is now at full health, thanks to Eastern Exotics, and each morning she wakes us by whispering, "Hey, baby" from her spacious habitat.

I write all this because yesterday I was shopping for different toys for Roxy at PetSmart in Waldorf, and was terribly saddened when I saw a sun conure for sale. Unlike at Petco in Waldorf, this beautiful sun conure was housed in a miniscule cage, the kind you would put a couple finches in. I almost wanted to buy this conure just to save her from mistreatment. The man who was feeding her did not speak to her or any of the other birds that I saw. His job seemed to be to feed the birds, and that was it.

If you're in the market for a hand-fed conure or bird and live in the D.C. area, I highly recommend the live animal department at Petco in Waldorf, Maryland. Kym is the live animals manager, and gives her whole heart to those animals. Her co-workers do the same. I hope you find the same love in your heart that MFM and I did when we got Roxy.

Backtracking

As an adult, it's difficult to put oneself in a child's shoes. As a guitarist who's played for over twenty years, it's tough to distill my knowledge down to what I think a student should learn in their first 10 - 20 weeks of studying the guitar. That's what I'm working on this week and the next couple, along with some co-workers, as we re-vamp our school's curriculum.

I'm trying hard to see the forest despite the trees... and make sure the curriculum team and I distill things down to a very basic level. But it's not easy.

That's what's up!

B2R McLean 9:30 Club Battle of the Bands winners!

B2R McLean 9:30 Club Battle of the Bands winners!
Originally uploaded by beachhearted

I couldn't be more proud of the young rockers at my music school! Our Battle of the Bands was yesterday at the 9:30 Club in D.C. My school's kids placed five out of nine times, with our high schoolers taking first and second place! Perhaps this is why my fortune cookie last week said, "Your greatest dream is coming true." Perhaps running a music school isn't my greatest dream, but making a living being involved with bands and music is definitely a dream come true.

Fun times, fun times.

Waiting patiently

Waiting patiently
Originally uploaded by beachhearted

The D.C. area got hit by its biggest December snowstorm in a decade this weekend. It's the first time I've been absolutely unable to ride my motorcycle since getting it in August. Here it is sitting beside a snowbank. I started it today and was so sorry to not take it for a spin.

I've hated springtime for as long as I can remember, probably because I have hay fever and asthma. When I was a downhill mountain biker, I wasn't necessarily over-eager for spring because I could still mountain bike somewhat in the winter. Once I stopped mountain biking, I nearly lost track of the seasons. I'd go to work in a snow hat in May. Now that I have the motorcycle, I'm really sensitive to the seasons.

This spring I know I will appreciate the arrival of warm weather much more than I ever did, because I'll get to ride my motorcycle more and more. Ideally I will commute to work via the Iron 883 five days a week in the summer, and take advantage of its 60 m.p.g. (hwy). In the meantime, I have to learn to be a bit more patient. It's tough, though.

1590 miles so far on the Iron 883

Hooray, I rode my motorcycle over 1,500 miles so far. Got it in August, then had a supposed broken toe and was off the bike... went on vacation for a week in September.... But generally, if it's nice out, and I've got no meetings or work to do in a day, and it's not going to rain, I ride, ride, ride! (Funny how when you have one whole day off a week, it rains on that day, whether it's Sunday or Tuesday, dammit.)

One day off I rode 180 miles nowhere in particular, just wanted to enjoy the October scenery down here in southern Maryland. (Well, that day I decided to try my first bridge crossing, so I went over the Harry Nice Bridge into Virginia and poked around in those parts a little.) The most challenging part of it was paying the toll right before the bridge... very old-fashioned feeling on a motorcycle.

Probably one of the coolest things that happened so far when I was on my bike was that I found myself chatting with a stranger in bumper-to-bumper traffic the other night. There I was in stop-and-go traffic on the GW Parkway (due to construction constriction), and a fella on a Harley Sportster 1200 pulled up alongside me to chat. Fun to meet another Sportster rider along the way. When traffic cleared, he was off like a shot without a goodbye. I wonder how many other riders I'll meet in my future years on the bike?

Heli ride over Myrtle Beach

Myrtle Beach Heli 1
Originally uploaded by beachhearted

Took a helicopter ride yesterday while on vacation at Myrtle Beach. Saw some schools of fish--awesome! Here's the downtown strip (pictured.)

Motorcycling is one of the best decisions I ever made

H-D Iron 883 peanut tank with skull gas cap
Originally uploaded by beachhearted

Convinced now, to be a motorcyclist is one of the best decisions I ever made. When people ask about my motorcycle and what it's like to ride I keep saying, "It's just so basic--so punk."

As my friend, Adam, once said, "...You're riding an engine down the road...."

Today I strapped my Mac Powerbook onto my back along with some other sundries (taco salad, bottle of water, an inhaler [just in case]) and commuted to work 80+ miles on my bike.

During the day, when I was running errands. flyering for my music school, I was sweating. On the way home from work at 8 p.m., I was chilly because it was 68 degrees F or so and the vents on my bike jacket were 1/4 open. I hugged the gas tank with my knees for warmth and realized for the first time that my saddle/seat was an automatic bun-warmer.

If I die on my motorcycle (or having been ejected off it) I will die happy, most likely. I don't recall having been so proud of myself since I took on the sport of downhill mountain biking. (This is less scary, from my end of things.)

My new motorcycle!

My new motorcycle!
Originally uploaded by beachhearted

Bought my first motorcycle today! Here's my new Harley Iron 883 in black denim in the showroom today. I've never seen a black Iron 883 because they are usually snatched up the second they hit the showroom floor. This time, my name was on the bike for at least a month prior to its delivery to the dealership yesterday... so I got first dibs. At least two other people wanted it, but it was too late for them... mine!!!!!

Can't wait for it to be delivered, but I'm waiting for a couple parts to come in that are on backorder....

I am giving up my beer belly in exchange for this bike.

Gravity is a tricky lady; so is the freakin' sun

I always knew it would come to this. It started with watching CHiPs as a kid, sticking a playing card into my bike's spokes, etc. I secretly always wanted to ride a motorcycle. I feel like I am coming out of the closet all over again. I don't dare tell my mom this time.

So 35 years into my life I am learning how to ride a motorcycle. At 30 I did an odd pre-cursor--I learned how to ride a downhill mountain bike. A little over five years later I've taken a Harley-Davidson Rider's Edge course (via Harley-Davidson of Annapolis, MD) and piloted a motorcycle myself. When I first took off with the engine pulling me across the bike range this weekend, it felt like learning to ride a bicycle for the first time. It was just like riding a bike for the first time without training wheels--the moment when it's confirmed that the bike wants to stay upright if it has enough momentum to do so.

Gravity is a tricky lady. I don't trust her because I don't necessarily know her that well. You hear in bicycling and motorcycling that "...the bike wants to stay upright," but it's a difficult idea to trust when you are pushing your handlebar to the ground in a turn and the only thing that separates you from the asphalt is a thin layer of cotton.

I "dropped" my motorcycle once in class. It was not as humiliating as I thought. I liked how the instructor insisted I let it go even though he saw me trying to prevent it from hitting the ground. Physics can be so zen. It's really okay. Gravity is really okay. There's no need to bust one's back out of alignment to prevent the world from seeing that gravity is still in play.

***

I tried to deny the sun's power this weekend, too. Tried to pretend like the burning power of the sun had no power over me, just because I hadn't tasted her fiery kiss in a couple years. Now my face is bright red from my sunglasses line down. Two days after sun exposure, my chin skin is flaking off in dry pieces. Ugh. It's laughable. For someone who has already had skin cancer, I sure am dumb when I want to be.

***

This blog is too goddamn long, I realize, if I have to use those triple-asterisk dealies. That generally means one ought to be writing a book for their friends to feel forced to purchase. ;)

Anyway, I am trying to decide whether or not I am a biker at heart. I am not sure I am. Riding in 1st and 2nd gear in a parking lot does not make that abundantly clear to someone who is questioning whether or not they are a motorcyclist at heart.